This past March, 2011 on a wintry weekend at Kripalu, once again, a group of men showed up to take a break from busy lives to immerse themselves in yoga practice, inspiration, reflection, delving deeper than they expected. Where did they go? They went inward. Investigating. To the body. The Breath. Sensations in joints and muscles. Then deep relaxations.  And steadying meditations.  Yet outward as well.  Opening.  Loosening.  Breathing deep.  And half-way through the weekend their downright chatty.

What impresses me each time I offer this program, is the collective wisdom of each group of men. Opening night, when intentions are shared, one man shared from his best inner-knowing of the moment, “I’m not sure what I hope to get out of this weekend. I just know that I need whatever is here.”

That kind of openness goes a long way with the practice of yoga. The body holds many mysteries. There are many habits to let go of. Each day can be different in the body. A quality of exploring is helpful.
By Saturday evening we had been together for a mere 24 hours. Yet a lot had happened. Yoga practice. Yoga philosophy. Personal inquiry. Much-needed deep relaxations. Many simple meditations.
What I heard this weekend was a thirst to integrate such a useful practice of self-care into a 21st century life. And we were a group of men that were quite diverse age-wise, strung along the worklife continuum. Some at the beginning of careers, some searching for work, and some transitioning into various stages of retirement. So the challenges differed.

In our last hours together a lot of wisdom was shared about how to take the messages we learned on the mat, into our lives off the mat and into the challenges and opportunities that many of us face.  I heard myself respond to this discussion, “The best yoga practice is the practice that you can integrate into your life. Hold expectations only as possibilities, not requirements. It is those satisfying moments in practice that attract me back to the mat where I deepen my connection with myself through practice. So, I have to create opportunities for those moments to occur, to generate momentum, get traction, turn a discipline into a habit.

In other words, I have to let myself have the experience, even if the form doesn’t meet my expectations. Ideally I like to practice for an hour or two. Sometimes I think I only have about 15 minutes, though. Giving myself those 15 minutes can be an essential stepping stone into regular practice. As I live into a commitment to practice often qualities of  creativity, spontaneity and openness are required

Amy Weintraub, in her fabulous book, Yoga For Depression, reveals a great insight into making a commitment to personal practice. It’s in the Niyamas, the self-care practices of the eight-fold path of yoga, presented in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra. She explains that the first two niyamas  (Saucha/purity and Santosh/contentment) actually come as a result of practicing the other three niyamas (Tapas/discipline, Swadyaya/self-study, and Ishvara-pranidhana/letting go).

Tapas is discipline.  It’s creating a commitment. Nurturing it. Keeping at it. It’s also the burn of discipline.  To defer what I want in order to show up for what I have made a conscious commitment to.  Possibly, something that I’ve noticed that I need in my life.

Swadyaya is self-study.  This includes observing the effects of my practice as well as my choices, my behaviors. It requires a compassionate self-honesty.  Self-study needs to be an objective, clear-seeing despite my filters.

Ishvara-pranidhana means letting go.  Letting go of my expectations of the effects of my efforts.

With a commitment to practice, I may expect to feel better as a result of my practice. I’ve learned that yoga’s not just about feeling better. It’s about feeling more. Yoga activates and yoga integrates. Sometimes I’ll feel great in my body. Serene emotions. Cool, calm and connected. Sometimes I’ll feel something that still needs to be fully digested, fully felt. So, the practice will give me challenges with my expectations as well as my body and breath. And in this letting go of expectations, I find the possibility to enjoy the abundance of what I do have.

These practices are part of a journey that continues over the course of our lives.  I was honored, once again, to glimpse and share in the journeys of the men in our group.  It was a joy to witness the spiritual power and inner strength that is drawn forth when a group of men come together for  authentic exploration.